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Only two days until Mother’s Day. Have your ordered your flowers
or purchased your present? A nice corsage to wear to church would
be worth some serious brownie points.
UEA Faces Funding Crisis
The Utah Education Association’s political war chest is drying up.
UEA leaders fear they will “cease to be a major player in Utah politics”
unless more teachers contribute to U-PAC, the union’s political
action fund, says a UEA publication.
After the Legislature passed the Voluntary Contribution Act, which
eliminated political donations by payroll deductions, the number
of teachers contributing dropped 10-fold, from 68% of UEA members
to 6.8%. Amounts contributed dropped from $143,000 annually to just
$40,000. All of this interesting information is contained in the
May 6 edition of the UEA NOW, a newsletter
posted on the UEA Web site.
Despite the “political action crisis,” as described in the newsletter,
the union leaders showed they still have a sense of humor, although
it might be gallows humor.
At the annual UEA House of Delegates meeting, says the newsletter,
“UEA President Pat Rusk – dressed in leather pants and a vest –
rode into the auditorium on the back of a motorcycle (driven by
Vic Arnold). The message on her t-shirt: ‘Girls Just Want To Have
Funds.’”
Amid the cheers of the delegates, Rush was introduced as “Leader
of the PAC.” She then spoke “about the crisis the Association faces
if more members don’t contribute to UEA’s political action fund.”
Rusk said the UEA’s mortal enemy, Parents for Choice in Education
PAC, spent more than $250,000 to promote tuition tax credit legislation.
Now, PCE PAC “is offering $25,000 to anyone who will run against
one of the seven new legislators who voted against tuition tax credits
during the 2005 legislative session. ‘Without money to help our
candidates, how can we compete, let alone defeat?’” (PCE PAC leaders
say it is simply untrue that they’re offering $25,000 to challengers.)
The newsletter continued: “Representative Sheryl Allen ( R-Bountiful
), said the last time she ran a legislative campaign it cost her
$24,000. ‘Your contribution is very important,’ she told delegates.
‘Take this challenge [to donate] very seriously. It is desperately
needed.’”
Casual Friday
In Honor of Mothers Everywhere: A Mother’s Dictionary
(From www.ahajokes.com)
Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am
too.
Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're
going to let the children play outside.
Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order
dessert.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper
distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate
the strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful
even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they
do everything we say.
Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the
time you scream it.
Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.
Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies
wearing dry shoes into it.
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by
boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket
aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as
to not upset the children.
Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman
jammies.
Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she
begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal: Able to whine in words,
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get
a sponge."
Best of Late Night Humor
David Letterman.... "Top Questions To Ask Yourself Before
Camping Out To See 'Star Wars'": "Why don't I have anything better
to do?"; "How many Wookies does my tent sleep?"; "Exactly when did
I give up on doing anything meaningful with my life?"; "Will I be
teased by roving gangs of Trekkies?"; "If I use all my vacation
days now, how will I take that trip to ice planet Hoth?"; "Does
Starbucks let guys dressed as galactic bounty hunters use their
bathroom?"; "If I had a girlfriend, what would she think?"
Jay Leno.... Pope Benedict the Sixteenth said that he prayed
that he would not get elected but then he did get elected. Today
Hillary Clinton called the pope and said "Hey can you pray for me
in 2008?" … As you may have heard, Los Angeles has been hit by a
rash of freeway shootings lately. Of course, L.A. drivers are amazed
by this - "How can you talk on the phone, hold a cup of coffee,
do your makeup, and fire a gun at the same time?” … Today Vice President
Dick Cheney described al Qaeda as "Wounded, off balance and on the
run.” No, I’m sorry he was talking about that bride from Georgia.
…Well, it happened again. This time a customer at an ice cream shop
in Wilmington, North Carolina found a piece of a severed finger
in his frozen custard. They’re still not sure if it was a piece
of Ben or Jerry.
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