Happy Dad’s Day
Well, fathers, maybe if you get lucky this weekend you’ll get a
little pampering. Good luck, and enjoy your new socks and ties.
Check out Ruland Gill’s dating rules for his daughters in
Casual Friday below.
Unfair Attack on Business
Digital
IQ
magazine is reporting that the state Republican Party is distancing
itself from an e-mail message encouraging Republicans to end their
Xmission Internet service because the owner, Pete Ashdown,
is a Democrat running against Orrin Hatch.
Florida Vouchers Under Attack
Utah’s school choice proponents are circulating an OpinionJournal.com
op-ed piece that reports how Florida’s voucher program has pushed
public schools to improve, with significant educational gains for
minority students. The program is now seriously threatened by a
lawsuit.
Cuts Both Ways
It’s interesting that Mitt Romney’s Mormon religion is often
cited as a detriment to his presidential aspirations, but it’s also
his religion that makes him interesting and different enough to
generate a significant amount of early publicity.
Washington Watch
(By Gaylen Webb)
Hatch Sponsors R&D Tax Relief
Senate Bill S. 627, introduced by Orrin Hatch and co-sponsored
by Barbara Boxer (D-CA), and an equivalent U.S. House version
(H.R. 1736) would give companies greater tax relief for R&D activities,
says Red
Herring.com.
Two semi-conductor trade groups have called on Congress to pass
the legislation, which would equally benefit non-semiconductor technology
firms. Red Herring.com says the bills would make the R&D tax credit
permanent while making it easier for companies to qualify for it,
give companies more flexibility in calculating credits, and base
the tax credits on a company’s R&D spending rather than its income.
Hold Your Ears
We recently ask readers to send us their comments on talk radio.
With that in mind, you might be interested to know that Bill Clinton
is negotiating a foray into talk radio. A report in Thursday’s Opinion
Journal.com “Political Diary,” (subscription required) says
Clinton is in talks with radio syndicator Clear Channel to host
a talk show “that might air head-to-head against his old nemesis,
Rush Limbaugh.”
Clinton friends suggest there is a place for him in talk radio,
but we have to agree with Political Diary writer John Fund.
Since it is tempting for hosts to dominate the conversation, would
anyone listen “to a show hosted by a man whose biography stretched
to over 1,000 mind-numbing pages?”
Reader Response
The Public is Smart
Boyd Parkinson: I would like to express appreciation for
the synopsis of the day's news and issues that you provide. I am
just a politically active citizen and I appreciate the opportunity
to be better informed.
I also wanted to comment on Don Porter's editorial. He cites
one example, Dave Thomas and Rob Bishop. I don't believe
that the public is as naïve as he thinks that they are. There is
a counter example here in Utah as well. In my opinion, about all
that John Swallow did in his campaign was to try to vilify
Jim Matheson as a Democrat and identify himself as a "Good
Republican" (which I have no doubt that he is). The public obviously
did not view that as reason enough to make a change. Perhaps the
reason that Dave Thomas didn't stand a chance with Rob Bishop is
that there was no perceived reason to make a change.
(Read
More)
Casual Friday
Just in Time for Father’s Day . . .
If there is such a thing as a funny lobbyist, Ruland Gill is
it. He recently distributed the following to his e-mail list:
Many of you know I have three outstanding daughters and you’ve
asked for my preferred rules for dating. In fact, so many have asked
that I’m not sure of you all. So, I’m sending this to all who might
be interested.
Daddy’s Rules of Dating
- If you pull into my driveway and honk, you’d better be delivering
a package, because you’re not picking up anything.
- I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age
to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling
off. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your
friends who do this are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair
and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise.
You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your
pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order
to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the
course of your date with my daughter, I will take an electric
nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your hips
and waist.
- As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to
appear, and more than an hour goes by, please do not sigh and
fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not
be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that
can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead
of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like
changing my car’s oil?
- It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know
each other, we should talk about sports, politics and other issues
of the day. Please do not do this either. The only information
I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have
my daughter safely back in my house. The only word I need from
you on this subject is: “early.”
- Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding,
middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my
daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe.
If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance
to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
I have a shotgun, a shovel and five acres behind the house. Do
not trifle with me.
- You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance
at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.
If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter’s body,
I will remove them.
- The following places are not appropriate for a date with my
daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas or anything softer
than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where
there is dancing, holding hands or happiness. Places where the
ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear
shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts or anything other than coveralls,
a sweater and a goose-down parka – zipped up to her throat. Movies
with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided. Movies
which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old
folk’s homes are better.
- I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities
to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay
with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little
girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished
with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
- Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake
the sound of your car in the driveway for an enemy machine gun
spraying bullets over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange
starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to
clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As
soon as you pull into the driveway, you should exit the car with
both your hands in plain sight, speak the perimeter password,
announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home
safely and early, and then return to your car – there is no need
for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is
mine.
- I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without
utilizing a “Barrier Method” of some kind can kill you. Let me
respectfully elaborate. When it comes to sex, I am the barrier,
and I will kill you.
- More than anything else, please remember this -- I’m not afraid
to go back to prison.
Best of Late Night Humor
David Letterman.... Top Signs Your Neighbor is Batman. . .
When you mention Superman, he rolls his eyes and mutters, "pantywaist".
. . . His teen son drove to the prom in the Batmobile. . . . Is
re-roofing his house to fix loose shingles and grappling hook damage.
. . . Introduces his parents - Carl and Linda Batman. . . . When
he goes on vacation, asks if you'll water his plants and grease
his bat pole. . . . He's a recluse in a weird outfit with a young
sidekick ( Sorry, that's a sign your neighbor is Michael Jackson).
The New York Yankees are building a new stadium. It’s going to
have a 1920s feel to it – just like the hot dogs.
Jay Leno.... According to experts at the National Institute
of Mental Health, depressed people die much sooner than everyone
else. Well, that's just what depressed people need to hear! That
should cheer them up! .... As I'm sure you know, [last] Monday the
Supreme Court ruled against the use of medical marijuana. Of course
this came as a big shock to marijuana advocates, who showed up to
argue the case today. .... Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld
has downplayed the idea of closing down the prison at Guantanamo
Bay. He said it would raise questions of where to send the prisoners.
He's got a point. We can't just leave them there in Cuba -- because
in a couple of days they'd all be here. . . . In a speech, President
Bush called for a complete overhaul of the tax code. He said he
was shocked to find out that some millionaires in this country are
still paying taxes. Can you believe that? . . . Yesterday the trade
bank of Iraq issued the country’s first ever credit card, an Iraqi
credit card. And now thanks to us, the Iraqi people are now free
to borrow money at 30% interest. . . . Today is the opening of "Batman.”
The super hero who fights for truth, justice and everything else
that a California jury doesn’t.
|
Utah
Policy Daily is a service